Masters of Our Own
by Dr Megalomania
Summary: Just after the war, Duo has a little time to discover what it's like to be him.


**Disclaimer:** LOLZ – yeah, you know the score.

**Notes:** Just a try at writing the pilots younger than normal. I dunno. Just felt it.

* * *

**Masters of Our Own**

* * *

Duo nodded. Une took her time, going through the checklist with him one more time. She was methodical, clear and determined that he truly understood every item on the release checklist. Howard chuckled as he signed the release form, clarifying that he was formally discharging his duties as Duo's carer. He'd bought Duo a week's worth of meals as a gift. Une had bought Duo four clean daily uniforms and a parade uniform. She also bought him a small plant that she'd walked around the apartment three times, trying to find the best source of light. It was now sat on the window sill that made up the tiny window in his tiny kitchen. Une signed the form, waited for Duo to sign his name and then folded the clipboard under her arm. She extended a hand, "Congratulations. You're formally an adult." She peered past him, "Enjoy unpacking. I'll see you in a week."

"Uh." Duo paused, looking into his sparse apartment. He'd picked out all the furniture and had used the apartment app to identify where he wanted it all. His belongings were in a box by the door. He looked back at Une, "I'll be in on Monday?"

"No." She smiled warmly at him, and cupped a hand over his cheek. "Try to enjoy being you for a bit first." His frown must have given away his ignorance, because she chuckled softly and shared a glance with Howard. "I'll see you in a week."

Duo looked at Howard as Une walked away. "I can be unpacked and ready in two days." He raised a hand and scratched his neck, "Does she think I can't—"

"Kid." Howard pulled Duo into a hug. "You know that scrap yard you and Hilde ran for all of six months?"

Duo nodded. It wasn't a fond memory. They were just two scrappy kids with no money. It was inevitable they'd run into trouble, and thankfully Howard had been there for them. He'd had to buy the yard, and when the Earth Sphere and the Colonies got their act together, orphans of the war - like Duo - got swept into a bureaucratic nightmare. Hilde had family to return to, but Duo had nobody blood related to count on.

Again, thankfully Howard had been there. Taken Duo on as his foster child for the twelve months it took for Duo to turn 18.

Howard's expression was so fond. "Kid, you gotta learn to be just you for a bit."

"I joined the preventers to—"

"Be able to use your skills. I know." Howard smiled, "So does she. But you know what she got and you ain't?"

Duo shook his head.

"Purpose. She gots her a purpose. You gots you skills." Howard's smile was lopsided, "There's a reason that angry kid got sucked up with the Bartons. Nobody wants that to happen again."

"I don't see how that's going to take me a week."

"Preventers don't just stop bad things from happening, Duo." Howard explained patiently. "They're protecting things too. Do you know what you want to protect?"

Howard waited a moment, watched as the thought settled into Duo. He reached out a hand and fluffed Duo's fringe in a way he knew Duo hated.

"You'll figure it out once you've had a chance to just be you." He gestured the apartment behind Duo. "This is yours. Who are you when you ain't got a mission or a war to fight?"

He gave it another moment, before pulling Duo into a hug. He pressed a kiss onto Duo's cheek. "You make sure you eat something that hasn't been processed every day. Start the day with a salutation to the sun, and end every night with a grateful heart."

Duo sighed, "Thanks, Howard."

"I'm calling you in a week's time, you be ready for it." Howard wagged a finger as he walked down the corridor. Duo waited until he disappeared around the corner to the stairs before walking into his new home, closing the door and staring at the lock for a long moment. He took a weird pleasure in turning the lock and putting on the chain. Turning away from the door, he took a step back and slid down the door until he was sat on the carpet. He let go of his breath, breathing out for a long time.

He was home. Home in a place that was his.

Nobody else owned it. It was his place. It was his apartment. Compensation allotted to all orphans from the war. It was something that was small and clearly a political visual that helped the current government to prove they were different from the previous administrations...

But it was his home.

He pulled the box by the door closer, and opened it. He reached in, hands passing over various items until he found the bible. It was a dog-eared thing, burnt in a couple of places, missing pages, bloodstained in places and almost unrecognisable as a bible. It was the only thing he'd been able to snatch up before soldiers had come to check for survivors. Only thing that he wasn't wearing they let him keep after they arrested him. Doctor G had only stared blankly as Duo kept the bible in almost obsessive care. He'd taken care to hide it during the war, keeping it as close as possible. It was the thing he always grabbed if they'd had to leave a safe house. He'd thought he'd lost it during the war, the day OZ had destroyed OZ. He'd broken down when Une had asked the Gundam Pilots to come and identify items confiscated during the war. Une had kept it, curious that the pilots could be sentimental. Quatre had held him as he sobbed over the dirty, broken book.

Duo stood in a fluid motion, holding the book carefully in his hands. He walked through the picture perfect apartment and arrived in his bedroom. His allocation had been generous, and he'd spent most of it on his bedroom. It had amused him to remember what Solo would have said about the giant king-size bed that dominated the bedroom. It was up against a corner, it was the only way he could have space to walk around the room and access the built-in wardrobe.

Duo walked over to the small table that was in the corner by the window. He took a moment to appreciate the dying sunset, and then knelt down by the table. He opened the box that Hilde had bought him from L2. He pulled out a small cloth napkin and unfolded it over the table. Next came a small vase, complete with a fake flower from Hilde. Duo smiled, and was grateful she also packed the candles he asked for. He laughed when he found the card and the lighter.

He placed the bible on the napkin, taking a moment to place it just so. He opened the bible, and found the news cutting. The paper was yellow and brittle. Duo laid it out and turned to another page. He took out a fraying scrap of material. He laid the material by the news cutting and then took a moment to arrange the three candles. They were votive candles, and took a moment to light.

He closed the bible, and took a moment to make sure it was in the right place.

Duo sat back on his heels and stared for a moment at the small scene he'd made, what was left of Solo's hankie, the only photo he ever saw of Sister Helen and Father Maxwell, his bible.

He curled over until he could rest his chin on the edge of the table, his hands clasped in a sort of prayer. "This is your home too." Duo whispered to the things, "Welcome home."

Unpacking truly only took thirty minutes. He felt a little weird, not having any weapons around the apartment and ever so often had to physically stop, take a breath and remind himself, "You don't need a gun right now."

He checked all the cupboards. Howard had brought him enough fresh food to last a week, and there was enough pasta and rice to last him a month. It was a bit strange to know that every item of food was his own. He made himself a cup of tea, and padded around the rooms. It was very functional. His home wasn't decorated. He had a small TV on a wall, a table that could sit two realistically and a small futon sofa. He'd bought a couple of bean bags because he could and because he'd never really sat in one before. His bathroom was a small affair, white and with a walk in shower. He took a piss with the door, giggling to himself about his foolishness.

He took some time with his small shrine before retiring to bed. Sat kind of praying, kind of just talking to his mementos. Told Father Maxwell about all the things he was grateful for, promised Helen he'd eat something green tomorrow. Asked Solo what he thought about the view from the window. When he was done, he picked up the scrap and the news cutting, almost automatically, to put them away and then stopped himself. Smiled as he put them back. Promised Helen he'd find a decent frame for both items. He blew out the candles and went to get ready for bed.

* * *

The next day he looked around his apartment with fresh eyes. He wanted to do something to it, to make it more his. He wanted to make the white walls less imposing. Picking up his tablet, he went and sat on a beanbag by the window. It was raining, and he didn't need to leave the place to get the things he was thinking about. He surfed for a few minutes, before the rain just caught his attention and he stared out. His mind wandered all over the place, focusing sometimes on the traffic passing by or on the way the water clung to the glass. Sometimes he caught sight of himself, and just stared at what he was now. He didn't realise how long he'd been staring until it suddenly became quite dark, and it was the evening. Duo blinked as he pushed himself out of the beanbag and stretched. Took a moment to stretch his body. He padded into the kitchen wearing odd-coloured socks, taking simple pleasure in the slip and the slide of his socks on the tiles. Duo made himself a coffee using the funky machine he'd saved for. The coffee machine was a small but perky machine, it spat out coffee with a few jabs and a new pod of coffee. Duo put a cup under the spout and activate the machine. It hummed and spluttered as it ran its protocols. He smiled lopsidedly as he watched it. He returned to his spot by the window, and turned his attention back to the tablet.

* * *

It didn't take him a week. It took him three months. It was one particularly wet and windy day. He'd just gotten home, got into some warm pyjamas and was curled under the window in the bedroom, watching his candles burn, watching the steam from his coffee curl from the warm mug his hands were wrapped around. Music floated through the apartment and the smell of the pasta bake he was making was making his stomach rumble. That was the moment Duo Maxwell found his peace, and realised what his real purpose was. He was home, he was safe, he was well. He didn't need anything else.

He heard a hard knock to his front door. Frowning, he padded to the front door. It didn't take very long to get there. He glanced through the peep hole, and opened the door with surprise.

"Heero Yuy?" Duo took a step back, taking the time to dip forward to check the hallway. "What are you doing here, man?"

The former Wing pilot pulled up his duffel bag, holding it a bit closer. "I finally hit 18, and they placed me..." He smirked slight, gesturing upward. "Two floors up."

"Tight assholes." Duo welcomed him in, "So you just moved in?"

"Hn." Heero stepped in gingerly and slipped of his shoes, kicking them lightly into line with Duo's own discarded boots. "It's... Colder than I thought it would be."

"Yeah, heating's a bit of a bitch, but nothing you can't fix with a jumper—" Duo disappeared into the small kitchen. "God, I sound like Sister Helen."

"Helen?" Heero poked his head into the kitchen, "I thought you'd ended up with Howard."

Duo glanced over his shoulder, "Coffee?"

Heero shook his head, "Tea if you have it? Or decaf?"

"Got both." He motioned the cupboard, pick out a tea. "I gots me some kind of selection box."

A short time later found them sat, Heero comfortably on the sofa with Duo sprawled in a beanbag. They were sipping at their respective hot drinks and a bowl of pasta bake each. Duo shifted slightly. "Helen was ... uh... She was a nun at the church I lived in... before the war."

Heero nodded. "Ah. I was aware of the church." He frowned, "I found out some info while I was undercover as you on the colonies. I didn't know her name was Helen."

"She was so much more than just a nun," Duo stared at the surface of his coffee. "When people talk about moms, she's what I think about." He blinked out of his morbid thoughts, "You brought a bag?"

Heero looked over his shoulder; the dark bag was neatly tucked under the small dinner table. He looked back at Duo, nodding once. "I felt ... uncomfortable upstairs. When I'd realised you were here, I thought perhaps..." He paused, nodding in an uncertain way, "...I could stay here for a night?"

"Oh … I get that." Duo smiled slightly, "I've been ..." He scratched the back of his neck, "It took me like three months to finally realise I was home." He gestured, "You know you can stay! Though, the sofa bed is kinda shit. I just got a cheap futon."

"You have a sofa bed?" Heero looked down at the seat. "I didn't think to get one."

"Okay, but don't laugh." Duo leaned forward, "But I totally figured now we're y'know, masters of our own destiny, I could finally have a sleep over." He held up a finger when Heero's lips quirked into a smile, "I said don't laugh."

Heero nodded slowly, keeping a straight enough face. "I figured we'd play games all day... I put my money into a decent screen and a number of games consoles."

"Dude!" Duo smiled widely, "I totally didn't think to buy a games console. So, here's the plan. We rock out the games consoles at yours and sleep at mine. I mean, I have like this kick ass double bed. You'll totally fit." He gestured the futon loosely, "I mean, like that's for the regular humans. We've shared a bed before, you can come and be blown away in my fucking palace of a bed. Like this mattress is so, so good." He straightened and cocked his head, "You'd be proud, I did research."

"Really?"

"Yeah, like I went to all the stores and I looked online—"

"I meant, can I really stay over?" Heero clutched his cup hard, leaning forward. His dark blue eyes were filled with worry. "I just turned up—"

"Dude, yeah." Duo got up in a fluid way and held a hand out to Heero. "Come on, I'll give you the tour."

Heero put down his cup onto the small coffee table, and took Duo's hand. Duo's bright grin could have lit the room.

"Alright, you already saw the kitchen. This is the living room!" He pulled Heero into the bedroom, "Here's the bed."

"That is a ... a big bed." Heero laughed in surprise, "How many people do you envisage sleeping in this bed?"

"I bought one that I reckoned we could all sleep in. All five of us!"

"Would you really want to sleep with all of us at the same time?"

"No. Wufei has cold feet." Duo stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet, "We'd have to sleep in a very specific order and Wufei would need to have socks on."

Heero laughed, and Duo grabbed his hand again. He crammed them into the small bathroom. "This is where I like to get clean. I can recommend the toilet, ten out of ten, would piss there again."

Heero's voice was so fond. "You're so weird."

"You're the one who wants to sleep with me." Duo snorted as he maneuverer them out the bathroom. He walked up to his shrine and knelt down. He gestured towards two frames, one was a news cutting and the other held a scrap of fabric. "Father, Sister, Solo." Duo spoke to the frames and gestured to Heero, "This is my buddy Heero. He's sleeping over." Duo glanced over his shoulder and was surprised to see Heero rubbing the back of his neck, a blush receding. Heero's smile was awkward.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh. Yeah." Heero came to crouch down by Duo, "It was... uh. You said. It sounded like." Heero's blush returned and he folded his arms over his knees and buried his face.

Duo tilted his head and asked softly, "Bud, are you okay?"

Heero made a small frustrated noise.

Duo smiled and raised a hand to pat Heero's head. "Is that a yes?"

Heero took a deep breath and raised his head. "It sounded like you were suggesting we sleep together. And..." He swallowed and looked away, "I realised you meant just sleep."

"Uh...?" Duo stared at him blankly. "Yes?"

"Yes, precisely." Heero rolled his eyes and dropped his head to hide his face again. "Stupid."

"Look, I don't know how you go about sleeping with other people, but usually—"

Heero's voice was muffled and frustrated. "I thought maybe you'd want to have sex with me." He made a huffing sound, "And then I thought that it wasn't a bad idea."

Duo looked at him quizzically.

Heero didn't look up as he admitted in a quieter voice. "But then I realised you might not want to have sex with me. So I was going to say nothing but then you turned around and saw me."

"Okay. It's okay, bud." Duo reached out a hesitant hand, and felt Heero stiffen under it. Duo stroked Heero's head for a long moment, before Heero finally sighed and raised his head.

"Sorry. I can stay on the futon if—"

"I don't mind." Duo sat back on his heels, "I just never... you know, thought about it really."

"Me either." Heero said, rocking himself onto his knees from his crouch. "I didn't even come here thinking it, just when you said I was the one who wanted to sleep with you... I just had this flash of you touching—" Eyes widening in self-conscious horror, Heero reddened, clenching his jaw shut.

Duo felt his own face begin to warm up, his mind filling in the rest of the sentence. He blinked and looked away, toward the bed for a moment.

"I can go." Heero offered in a small voice. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"Why?" Duo blinked and looked back, "Chill your beans, dude. I just..." He fanned himself. "Never had that kinda..." He squirmed a little. "I ain't never been with anyone like that before." Duo blinked and nodded, he got up on his feet and held out a hand. When Heero was standing in front of him, he moved his hand to lace his fingers with Heero's. He took a long moment and stared into Heero's eyes.

"I've never been with anyone like that… either." Heero said, quietly. "I just been thinking about… well, you."

That admission warmed Duo right from the bottom of his toes. He smiled widely, "Wanna give it a go?"

Heero's smile was slightly goofy. "Yeah."

Uncertain what to do next, Duo nodded back. "Cool. Wanna still play computer games?"

"Yeah," Heero chuckled lightly, "Yeah I am."

"Then let's start there." Duo nodded. "I gotta be up tomorrow like early, so maybe not tonight and maybe we oughta get some shut eye."

"Sure. Une said I couldn't come to work for a week." Heero frowned slightly, "She said I had to spend some time being me. Heero's frown was frustrated, I'm me all the time, I know what being me is like."

"I get it." Duo said, he stepped forward and hugged Heero. "Come get ready for bed, and I'll explain it."


End file.
